New Fuckable Wax Museum opens in Bear Creek

by Mark Wilson, 3.24am March 10th 2021

Bear Creek - Sounds of weeping and the fulfillment of carnal urges had been heard for weeks at the abandoned rock quarry, where the town sheriff had disappeared only weeks earlier. Residents were indifferent to his disappearance, given his proneness to drunk driving and obsession with the goats at the town’s neglected petting zoo, but the noises echoing through the empty streets at night became too unbearable and a search party was reluctantly formed. 

A brief search led the flashlight wielding mob to the base of the quarry where a dimly lit, unfamiliar structure stood unassumingly amongst the trash and filth that had accumulated in there. The building was reportedly poorly constructed and accompanied by a pear shaped man wearing piss stained pants standing behind a worn podium. Residents noted a similarly soiled piece of loose leaf paper indicating the potential purpose of the structure as a wax museum, funded by town recluse Bill Motluck. 

Interest waned initially at the prospect of another celebrity replica wax museum, joining the dozen or so others that varied in quality and already existed in town, but they came to find out this one was not like the rest. 

“I think people will be quite delighted to know they can finally fulfill their fantasy of having an orgy with melting wax sculptures of the entire cast of Duck Dynasty,” said Motluck, when asked about the museum. “My fully fuckable wax museum will revitalize this town’s economy and bring people the salvation they seek!” 
The horrific effigies would suggest Motluck himself has no idea who any of the celebrities are that he is molding, but nonetheless, the museum has been an inspiration to many of those who reside in Bear Creek, some of them forfeiting employment and marriages to remain in the warm embrace of Motluck’s wax figures. The estate itself seems to grow by the day, with Motluck’s creations inhabiting shops and apartments, gazing longingly at those who pass them, beckoning them to buy something they don’t need or mourn a family member who just died, listlessly offering their love to anyone depraved enough to partake. 

A billboard has since been built advertising the attraction to uninterested passerby as they careen toward another xanax fueled family vacation.