Snitches Get Stitches in Heaven Too
by M. Roanoke, 3.49am March 10th 2022

My neighbor is building a tower to heaven. You’d think somebody would stop her, but we just watch. She’s out there in her backyard working on it every weekend. Sometimes her son helps.


One day I say to her


“Wow, it’s really coming along!”


And she says


“You don’t know, Linda. You really don’t. You have no idea.”


A few weeks later I say


“Geez, it’s really getting up there! Sure it’s safe?”


And she says


“You’re so covered in shit, Linda. You’re drowning in it. You know that? You’re DROWNING.
In SHIT.”


I keep my thoughts to myself after that, but I do think about calling the HOA. Of course, I’d never. Even the idea makes my skin crawl.